The other day I started thinking about some of the people in my life. My relationships with them and how they affect me and how I affect them. I believe that every relationship… Friends, family, lovers… Should be a two way street.
People will say….
- I’m here if you.. If you need me
- What can I do for you?
- Let me know if you need anything
Most of them are liars. They just say that to make themselves feel better …. Because they know they don’t give a crap nor do they want to be bothered with anything you need, feel or have to say.
The truth is… Most people are so selfish…they will say anything to make themselves feel better while they would throw you away with yesterday’s trash. Sure… you’ll run across genuinely good people now and then. But for the most part… People are pricks.
Do you or Did you ever have that “person”… That moment… That distant memory that replays over and over again? Maybe it was a friend, a lover , a family member…. You would lasso the moon and pull it down for them, move mountains to make them happy, drop everything to give them the time they need…. But you are absolutely nothing to them. You aren’t worth their time, breath, patience… Anything. You are someone that they needed at the time … But now you’re disposable , replaceable… Not good enough.
The problem isn’t them… There are people like this at every turn. Life lessons that are thrown at as… Tests if you will. I’ve never been good at tests…. Seriously I haven’t. I get anxiety from the ” what if’s” or “What isn’ts “. The problem isn’t them…. It’s people like ME.
What’s wrong with me?
- I take people for their word
- I wear my heart on my sleeve
- I fall in love too fast , too soon, too hard
- I believe in magic & fairy tales
- I believe in give and take
- I believe that nothing is impossible
- When I get sad… I cry …
- When I get mad… And I do get mad… I erupt
- I don’t hold feelings back, I don’t hide them, I don’t make excuses for them and I don’t blame anyone else for them
Basically…. Society frowns upon this….they would rather have you be this fake and phony poster board child of the great american super person. Basically a superficial, fake,emotionless, hypocrite. A Tammy Faye Baker… If you will.
So after all my bullshit rambling… Rambling is one of my fortes… I hold on to those that aren’t phony,fake, selfish or superficial. Those that want to run through the rain. Those that will go to coffee just to talk about anything and everything . Those that will hold your hand because they want to … Not because they want to look like a good person. Those that look at you when you talk and really see you for who you are…. And whether it be good or bad…. They will still be there.
For anyone out there that has a decent bone in their body…. Here’s a thought for you. ….. Say what you mean… And mean what you say… Because someone that would give you their everything may be counting on it. Whether it be good or bad. It’s better than making them feel like they aren’t worth a squirt of piss.
Now excuse me….while I drown my whiny bitter tears in this latte while listening to Tori Amos and coloring flowers and birds.