A cloudy day….

I’m sitting in front of a bank … Waiting for it to open. It doesn’t open for another        45 min. but I really have no other choice but to sit and wait.  I’m in between appointments. So… I sit here watching the owl on my dashboard… Waiting.

 Today is a day of doctor appointments and meetings. Not the most fun day. The worst part is fasting for 12 hours before my first doctor’s appointment.  It’s not that I’m hungry and bummed about skipping breakfast… But to miss my morning coffee is pretty much a catastrophe. 

It’s chilly, cloudy….  I love this weather. This week I feel like I’m on a roller coaster. For the past month I’ve built walls around myself to keep anything and everything out and away from me.  I was doing pretty good but these past few days I’ve found myself to be a bit nostalgic…..A sense of longing.  Maybe it’s the weather? This time of year? The music??  

I’ve been pretty ill this week. I’ve gotten little sleep. I opened the windows and tried to snuggle in…. But I was still uneasy. For the past two nights I basically surrounded myself with every pillow in my home, wrapped myself in a fuzzy blanket… It brought a little comfort. Then I hold my own hand and pretend it’s yours. My body relaxes , sinks down in to my bed and I finally fall asleep.  

Halloween is tomorrow and I couldn’t be happier.  Right now I have plans with me , myself, and I.   Friends and family are bugging me to get out and about. I love Halloween… No, you don’t understand…     I LOVE Halloween. I don’t think I have the energy this year.  I would love to just sit ,wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, make popcorn and watch scary movies all night. 

God …. I would do anything to have a cup of coffee right now.  Sadly…. I have a few hours to go before that can happen. I have to stop thinking about it. 

Everyone have a safe and happy Halloween.  Dress up and frolic around.  I miss frolicking around… But that is another story. 

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