I’m getting to a place where I’m happy with myself. Don’t get me wrong…. there are things I can definitely improve everyday but I’m content with learning , growing and improving at my own pace.
Lately, I’ve been waking up every morning and thinking of something I’m grateful for or something I appreciate. It seems to help considering there is so much negativity and hate in the world today.
Yes… My heart stills feel broken. I do feel rejected , hurt… I miss him everyday. But… You learn to move on. You learn to realize you were not the one and you don’t have what they need. So you make peace with it.
So…. Putting all that aside…. I’m moving on to positive grounds. I also feel like I’m turning in to Mike Myer’s character in So I Married An Axe Murderer.
I’ve had a lot of first dates in the past 4 months or so. I meet up with a guy for coffee… He tells me what music he likes , what movies he likes, what he considers fun…. And I am out the door in 15 min. I can’t date someone that listens to country. I can’t date someone who has never seen Pulp Fiction. I can’t date someone who says that they want to go to happy hour three days a week to play trivia and drink. Im sorry I can’t do it.
Recently:… A guy asked me out. I’ve talked to him off and on for the past couple weeks. Nice guy… Loves 80’s music, loves 80’s & early 90’s movies. Has a business in selling vintage things or whatever… In to classic video games … Like Atari and so forth. Sounds like he’s right up my alley. But…. I am having trouble with his name. Yes, his name. I can’t see myself dating someone with his name. Shallow? I guess? But.. I can’t deal. Also…. He is very sweet… Very…. Almost too sweet. Calls me sweetie and sweetheart…. Already. I mean I haven’t agreed to even go out with him. He doesn’t even really know me. So….. Maybe his parents are from the south? Maybe he’s close to his Grammy? Maybe he is super sweet and a sensitive guy?
All I can think is ….. He’s a sensitive serial killer. He’s a sweet stalker. He’s a nice kidnapper. He’s going to break in to my place as steal my cat for ransom. Yes…. I honestly think this will happen.
And….. What if he smells like soup??