It’s getting easier….

It’s a beautiful morning. I’ve been so busy I decided to take an hour to myself and just go for a drive.  Starbucks sitting to my right, windows down, and my phone producing one great tune after another. (Who ever made this playlist… Is a genius) Ahhh…. Mad props to me.

So… I’m driving… Just enjoying my time. Then it happens. My phone has turned against me and has played songs one after the other that not only make me remember things, places, people… Ok… Ok…just one person.  

So …. I’m falling down that hole of loss, regret, sadness, abandonment… You get the point.  I can handle one song at a time.. It’s hard but I muscle through it. However, this assault by my phone was hard to take. 

Metric- ” Gimme Sympathy ” ( acoustic)

The Cure – ” Pictures of You”

Depeche Mode – ” Somebody”

Tori Amos- ” Angie ”

It’s like a full beat down. I am frozen and can’t even turn it off … Make it stop. 

I pull over… And cry.  Twenty minutes goes by and I take a deep breath, wipe away my tears, take a sip of my coffee which now is a bit luke warm…. And breathe.  

Then it passes…  The wave of emotion goes back out with the tides and I’m clear. 

It’s getting easier.  

 You may think that is a good thing.  It just makes me sad… I’m forced to forget one of the best friends I’ve ever had and a man that I’ve loved with all my heart, mind, body and soul for over two decades. 

Another Deep Breath. 

I start my car back up and I leave that memory , that hurt, and a piece of my heart on the side of the road … And I drove away. 

It’s getting easier. 

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