I am a sad soul today.

I have been trying to get happy this week.   I’ve took long drives. Bought myself some LUSH products.  Made myself a necklace that I love. Took myself to Starbucks.  Colored about 100 pictures while listening to my Allison Weiss record.  I haven’t gone to the zoo yet…I should try that. I hear the new Tiger exhibit is beautiful.  I’m too broke to take myself to Disneyland.

No matter what… All of this doesn’t erase the fact that I miss him terribly. When he decides he’s through with me and bails… I truly feel like a piece is missing.  I miss him.  I can’t pretend that I miss him.  I miss our conversations… He’s the only one that gets me.   A piece of me has died and I can’t get it back.  It hurts. My soul hurts. 

I’ve tried everything…. I can’t stop hurting.. I can’t stop missing him.

Drastic measures must take place. Anything to replace this sense of loss. I don’t want to feel this sadness.

I’ll do anything to make it stop. 


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