I am a sad soul today.
I have been trying to get happy this week. I’ve took long drives. Bought myself some LUSH products. Made myself a necklace that I love. Took myself to Starbucks. Colored about 100 pictures while listening to my Allison Weiss record. I haven’t gone to the zoo yet…I should try that. I hear the new Tiger exhibit is beautiful. I’m too broke to take myself to Disneyland.
No matter what… All of this doesn’t erase the fact that I miss him terribly. When he decides he’s through with me and bails… I truly feel like a piece is missing. I miss him. I can’t pretend that I miss him. I miss our conversations… He’s the only one that gets me. A piece of me has died and I can’t get it back. It hurts. My soul hurts.
I’ve tried everything…. I can’t stop hurting.. I can’t stop missing him.
Drastic measures must take place. Anything to replace this sense of loss. I don’t want to feel this sadness.
I’ll do anything to make it stop.