The Chick Cave & more…

So after a very stressful, crazy, sad, hectic, and scary week…. I decided to hide out for the rest of the weekend. I’m sort of in           a ” chick cave… I’m digging it. 

It’s nice to be away.  No one knows where you are.. No one calls… No one text… Just quiet and stillness. 

I ran across this today…

 

I use to believe in this… Whole heartedly. Now I’m debating if … It really  matters.   

Right now.. I feel like Corey Flood in the middle of one of her mini music marathons. 

Yep… That’s looks about right. 

Anywho…  Wine the movie Train Wreck and tunes.   The fucking tunes. 

This ” officially single woman” weekend is under way. Sure there’s a lot of fun things planned.  I go from feelings of being relieved to feelings of loss to feelings of anger. 

I am starting to become completely numb to everything. Like I said befoe,  I use to believe in the quote above.  But…. I’m starting to think love doesn’t even exist. 

I don’t really know how it feels like to be loved by someone…. With the exception of my kiddo.  He’s a sweetheart.

  But…. I don’t understand  …what it’s like for someone to tell me that they are thankful I’m alive and I make their day better.  

I’m not perfect, I’m not the prettiest, the smartest….. And so forth.  I’m a bit damaged, I’m honest,  I am not as brave as I say I am,  I’m a hard worker,  I want to bring a smile to people’s faces…

I guess … I just want someone to hold my hand and calm my storm. 

When I was little I would pretend that a man would ride up on a horse and rescue from the tower. He’d take me away from all the pain.   

I have to save myself.  I want so badly for someone to prove me wrong… That they aren’t all the same. 

Sometimes I’m just utterly clueless ..

  

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