Head space…

Not in a good place today. 

Trying hard to dig myself out & stay positive… But some people are just THE WORST. 

You can be honest, kind, loyal, hard working, loving… Most of society could care less.

What scores big in this society and what gets rewarded in this society… Dishonesty, hate, greed, fear, selfishness… It’s gross.

Most people act this heinous yet preach their religion as an afterthought.

We have a presedential candidate that spews hate from his pores, lies obsessively, does shady business, bullies people constantly on a daily basis, thinks there is a superior race and makes sexual comments about his own daughter … And people follow him in droves!   It’s frightening!

How many sheep are in this world that will follow evil to the ends of the earth? 

How much evil is in this world that have no problem driving people with good hearts to the end of their rope? 

My whole life… I’ve had one lie fed to me after the next. From family, friends, employers, clients, lovers…. It never ends. One horrible lie after the next.  

Why do I have trust issues? Because there are so many fucking liars. 

I’ve been treated like yesterday’s news or even better yesterday’s garbage … For as long as I can remember.  I try to keep the faith in God, in the world, in humanity… I am slowly losing my grasp… And it breaks my heart.  I am heartbroken that i’m starting to despise humanity. That I am starting to feel hate or disgust for society.  I am begging for a sign from God to keep up the good fight.   I am trying…

I want to believe, love, have faith, and trust again.  

I’m so tired of seeing what I’ve seen. Hearing what I’ve heard. Feeling what I’ve felt.  I’m tired. 

Lies. Deceit. Hate. Fear. Greed. Selfishness.   These words rest in the hearts and mind of society… And I’m tired of it. 

Forgive. Forgive. Forgive…. Over and over again.  Why should I have to forgive… So many times?? Why can’t people just be decent people??? 

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