Dear Monday… Be kind

Today has been… A flurry of things.

I meditated for an extra 15 min today. 

I am positive that today will turn around and things will look up. 

Hope everyone has a good day and things turn around for the best.  

This afternoon I played around with a new bath bomb recipe.  I’m really digging it.  I’m going to put it all together tonight!  I’m pretty excited 😊

Well… I leave you with this song because it’s been floating in my head since this morning.  Why this song? Because sometimes things don’t work out, sometimes you want something or someone and life says you can’t. So you smile and let life carry on … But it doesn’t mean you don’t care about it/them.  You just have to let life run its course and make the best out of everything.   But… You can still dream or wish on stars.  It’s always ok to do that. 😊✨✨✨✨

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Day one of convention..

Day 1 of convention is finished.

I’m so tired… It was an early morning for me.  I have to back there in less than 12 hours for Day 2!

Tomorrow I’m multitasking at the convention. I have computer work to do …Going to get my website started.

The Scottsdale Resort is beautiful.  I wish I could have stayed there but it is a bit too pricey.  The grounds are very nice though.  I may have to put it on my list and stay there in the future. 

I came home, made some garlic bread, did my nightly cleansing and moisturizing, returned emails, and now I’m off to bed.

I finish my night with this tune. Why…. You may ask?  Because it’s been on my mind. 

Late night rant…

Ok… It’s late but I have a few things on my mind.   

  1. Why don’t parents teach their children how to be respectful, grateful, responsible , kind… Why is it always someone else’s fault or an excuse of why they act the way they do.  I’m tired of hearing excuses of why their child is a spoiled entitled brat. 
  2. People should write letters.  No … Not email, not text, not Direct messages… A fucking hand written letter.  Doesn’t anyone want to get a letter from someone?   You go to your mail box and a heartfelt letter is just sitting their waiting for you. 
  3. Why do people feel the need to be in a relationship.  Are they desperate for attention?  Are they afraid of being alone?  Or my favorite theory .. They just want to use someone to waste time until they find the person they really want.  Sad but true… I’ve seen it. Someone will just use someone because they need someone and you so happen to be there. It sucks. 
  4. When discussing music…Why do guys always bring up Guns N Roses, Led Zeppelin, Metallica or fucking Nirvana. Really?  Every friggin time. It never fails.  Get the fuck outta here with that crap!
  • Why are Roomba’s so expensive?!?!  I mean … Really?  I bought my sons XBox one cheaper than what a Roomba is going for.   At least an Xbox one can do multiple things.   Roomba’s do one fucking thing!!!  So unless it gets an upgrade like… It can fold my laundry, put the dishes in the dish washer, take out the trash….  I won’t be purchasing one anytime soon

Ok. I’m off to dreamland 💤💤💤💤💤

Hugs N Kisses !! 😊💖

A working weekend…

Gearing up for a very long weekend.

I have a convention all weekend and since the room rates are so ridiculous (Scottsdale B.S. of course ) … I will be driving back and forth.  Not fun.  The thought of a 4:45am alarm makes me want to hurt someone. 

It should be a fun weekend. Some of my favorite teachers/choreographers will be there. The early alarms and driving back and forth is going to kill me.  I see many Starbucks stops in my future. 

I will also be multitasking. I’m trying to launch my new website by the end of the month.  

So today is going to be a chill – low key day. I’m going to milk this quiet morning for all it’s worth. 

On a side note… What is up with the Oscar Nominations?  I’m pretty confused and slightly irritated with the nominees.   Is anyone else irritated by this?  Haha 

Make today great… Love hard… Play hard

Hugs N’ Kisses 

Nightmares, reality, relief & tears.

Yesterday was tough. I was walking on air from all the great things going on surrounding my work.  Yet… There was this constant thought in my head that looped over and over all day.  I don’t understand how I can build walls to keep myself safe… Yet the same thought can figure out how to get in?   It nestled in and I smiled at first … Reliving happy moments, remembering how in love I was, remembering words, feelings, thoughts, a touch… It’s amazing how fast they can flood in.  I let them visit then I turn quickly away from them. Finding something to distract, something noisy to drown out the sounds, anything else to make things fade in to the background.  I did just that… And went about my business.   

Last night …. I had the strangest dreams. They didn’t make sense yet they all tied in with one another.  I woke up two times crying and one time yelling.  In every dream … I was crying and yelling for the same person. After the last dream .. Around 5:30am .. I decided to just stay up.  But… I’ve been a mess ever since. My head is lost today … My soul is saddened … And my heart hurts. Today is not kind. 

I think I’ve relived every moment 100 times  this morning.  It’s so hard to love  someone so much.. And they just give up on you. You’re a ghost to them. You mean nothing… You are nothing to them.  I guess that’s a scar that I’ll take to the grave. I laugh about it sometimes… I think to myself … Am I going to be 90 years old , sitting in my nursing home, playing The Cure and crying for this heartbreak?  It’s kind of funny when I try to visualize it.  Are the caretakers going to sit on the edge of my bed and listen to me tell old love stories while playing them through a musical journey?  

Don’t get me wrong…. these ” rough” days are starting to come fewer and farther between.  It’s not an every day occurrence.  But… On quiet mornings like today, There isn’t any noise to distract. My mind should be focused on the tasks at hand. The dreams last night were too real, too powerful, too much… I’m not sure if I can bounce back today.  

It’s like being on the other side of mirrored glass and watching , waiting , yelling… Trying to reach someone on the other side. But they can’t see or hear you. They have no idea that you are even there. So they walk away and move on with their day. 

I’m sad…I have so many questions that will be left unanswered. A void that I may never fully fill.  A scar that I will carry on my heart for the rest of my days. 

It gets easier to breathe but it’s there… A memory Waiting to seep in and take over.  It’s a fucking tricky bastard that just likes to mess with me and poke me with a stick at times. You can’t help but to feel used, abandoned, neglected, confused, heartbroken… 

So today… I cry. I mourn for the loss and what feels like the death of my heart. It’s one day… Just got to ride it out. 

I listen to this song. Not because I want someone to feel this way for me.. It’s because I know this feeling. I’ve been through this.. Sometimes I still feel this way. Then my friends usually give me a wake up slap and bring me back to reality. But I know this song… I know how this feels… And I believe this version tells it like it truly is 

Not bad for a Monday 

I’m so tired but I thought I’d write a bit before I passed out. 

Today was pretty great! For a Monday …    it was pretty damn good 👍

From here on out … I’m busy almost every weekend until March…. Maybe even April?!?!

I’m excited to launch my own line of bath products!  Hopefully by the end of this month the website will be up and running.  Here’s a sneak peek of the label.  

I will be writing, posting, tweeting , & scoping through out my journey. 

Well I better get to sleep. I have so much to do this week and I’ll be in Scottsdale all weekend at a convention.                       I’m super stoked!   

Good night!  Hugs N’ Kisses 😊❤️✌️

Busy weekend!

I have a very busy weekend coming up! Between rehearsals & events… I’m going to be wiped out by Sunday. 

I’ve been working on my new website. Yes! That’s right I’m producing a new line of bath products!  Bath bombs, lotions, shower bombs… And all that good stuff! 😊 I’m very excited!  

The website is being developed now and I’m hoping to launch it by the end of this month! 

My brand is  Blisses N’ Kisses and I will be sharing & posting while I’m on this journey!  

I’m selling my jewelry this weekend at a charity event for the Starbrite Foundation.  I can’t wait!   I’ve worked with the Starbrite Foundation before so I’m super excited to do an event that is raising money for their cause.  It will be an awesome night of dance and it’s for a wonderful organization. 

Well… I will post more later! Right now I got to run and get ready to teach!  Have a beautiful weekend! 😊