I thought I was going to get through it. I was feeling pretty good. But… With the help with some down time.. Here I am rehashing feelings and feeling sad. One glass of wine later and there went the water works. I hope this goes away in the morning.
These feelings have been buried but all I can think about is…. Am I that horrible? What’s wrong with me? I feel like … I will never be good enough for anyone. You give yourself away and trust your heart with someone … Only to have them stomp it to pieces and treat you like your a non-existent piece of garbage. I will never trust anyone ever again. I’d rather die alone than to put myself through such humiliation, heartache and pain. My heart hurts tonight… All I can remember is being sucker punched and left to bleed.
I don’t want to love anyone or let someone close to me ever ever again.
Love? Ya… Love can go fuck itself. I want that feeling to stay away from me and I don’t want to ever feel it again. Because most people don’t mean it… It’s a lie.