How was your holiday weekend?

Hey guys & dolls!

Hope your weekend was fantastic!  What did you do?  Summer is here…who’s ready?!?

Here’s a sneak peek at our weekend…



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Three Day Weekend

After a very hectic and emotional 2 weeks

I finally have a three day weekend… I couldn’t be happier! 

This past month has been nothing but emotional break throughs, discovering self love, cutting out toxic energy from my life, sticking up for myself  and rebuilding myself from the psychological damage that has been keeping me hostage forever.  Plus… A shit load of work.  Regional competition, photo shoot, deadlines, scheduling, two shows coming up, an audition , rehearsals and prepping for nationals… I’M EXHAUSTED

I planned a very low key weekend.

Going to the movies, a baseball game, Angie TriBeCa on Hulu, and sleep … Much needed sleep. 

This morning I had some errands to run. It’s always those moments when after your mind is so busy and it has this moment of stillness… Something always finds a way to trigger a thought, a memory, a feeling buried. 

I had to make a long drive to make some deliveries and .. OF COURSE…. a song plays from my playlist. I didn’t even remember having it on there.  It started and I had to take a deep breath as the lyrics broke through my defense wall and rooted themselves in to my soul.  

Lyrics… These lyrics… It’s my thoughts , memories… Ripped from my soul and wrote in to a song. 

Why?  Is always the question that pops in my mind at times like this.  Why?  It is a question that will NEVER be answered. If it was answered …I’m sure it would lead to another “Why”.   

When you are emotionally tortured for a long period of time… You have to rebuild yourself piece by piece very carefully.  

Usually a song like this would have destroyed every piece I built. Today… It knocked down one or two pieces.   I took a deep breath and told myself….. 

This isn’t worth it. I am worth more.  I know how to feel & accept love.  It isn’t worth worrying about WHY.  I could bend over backwards to try to be something for someone… They could kill my spirit, hold my heart hostage at gun point and torture my mind time after time again… Leave me for dead. As I lay there bleeding … They would just wipe their shoes off on my chest and bring another girl to my funeral.  

I have survived time after time again.

Loss, heartbreak, betrayal, abuse, 

I survived it all.

I no longer weep for losses. I smile for my victories. That I conquered these tragedies, these tormentors, these liars… I stand today victorious.  No one… Will ever make me feel “less than” ever again.  

The longest week in history…

After getting 10 hours of sleep in 3 days , I finally slept through the night ( with the help of medication) I’m very groggy though.  This week has been quite the challenge. Between work, finances, time, my son’s  last day of school, issues with certain people who are just THE WORST… I have been beat down & exhausted.

Two shows and a national competition coming up in the next 4 weeks.  I have a competition tonight, a photo shoot tomorrow, rehearsals and I got invited to be a vendor at a roller derby event… All in the next two days!  Just thinking about all of that makes my head spin. 

 They say ….”what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.   I feel like I’ve died a 100 times in my lifetime.  

The word BUSY …doesn’t even come close.  It’s been a crazy hectic couple of weeks and this train isn’t slowing down until memorial weekend.   

My business is going … Decent. 

Dance is going …  Great!

Personally… I feel… Alive, Awake , Excited, Determined…. 

What’s on my mind today? 

Sorry….

Beyonce – Sorry ( lyrics )

[Chorus]

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t sorry, nigga, nah

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t sorry

[Verse 1]
He trying to roll me up, I ain’t picking up

Headed to the club, I ain’t thinking ’bout you

Me and my ladies sip my D’ussé cup

I don’t give a fuck, chucking my deuces up

Suck on my balls, pause, I had enough

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

I ain’t thinking ’bout

[Bridge]
Middle fingers up, put them hands high

Wave it in his face, tell him, boy, bye

Tell him, boy, bye, middle fingers up

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

[Hook]
Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t sorry, nigga, nah

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

No no, hell nah

[Verse 2]
Now you want to say you’re sorry

Now you want to call me crying

Now you gotta see me wilding

Now I’m the one that’s lying

And I don’t feel bad about it

It’s exactly what you get

Stop interrupting my grinding

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

[Hook]
Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

I ain’t thinking ’bout you

[Bridge]
Middle fingers up, put them hands high

Wave it in his face, tell him, boy, bye

Tell him, boy, bye, boy, bye

Middle fingers up, I ain’t thinking ’bout you

[Hook]
Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t sorry, nigga, nah

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

Sorry, I ain’t sorry

I ain’t sorry

No no, hell nah

[Verse 3]
Looking at my watch, he shoulda been home

Today I regret the night I put that ring on

He always got them fucking excuses

I pray to the Lord you reveal what his truth is

I left a note in the hallway

By the time you read it, I’ll be far away

I’m far away

But I ain’t fucking with nobody

Let’s have a toast to the good life

Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes

Me and my baby, we gon’ be alright

We gon’ live a good life

Big homie better grow up

Me and my whoadies ’bout to stroll up

I see them boppers in the corner

They sneaking out the back door

He only want me when I’m not there

He better call Becky with the good hair

He better call Becky with the good hair

#iaintsorry