Well monsoon season officially started this week in Arizona and Mother Nature is off to a great start! I’ve been enjoying our storm tonight and relaxing … Listening to good tunes and watching the lightening.
I love this time of year. It’s so hard not to let the mind wander…what is he doing? How is he doing ? When will I see him ?
It’s been 4 days…. It feels like a month.
It’s hard to let go… I have such a hard time letting go. This time it was for the best.He is definitely in my Top 5.
I’ve been in Vegas for the past week at my students dance national dance competition… We did great! We won several national titles, I won 2 choreography awards… We did not win the Grand Championship. There’s always next year 😊
Here’s just a recap of the week:
It was also a heartbreaking week. Long story… It involves a guy … Of course🙄
I now have a week off of work… Which could be awesome or WAY too much time for me to sit with my thoughts.
I’m so happy and proud of my dancers..yet a certain situation is sort of casting a shadow over my joy.
Have you ever watched someone walk away and you tell yourself…. I may never see them again.. And it just cuts you like a knife?? I’ve been heartbroken before… But this… It shook my soul. Sometimes I look in the mirror and ask myself… Why am I THIS person? Why can’t I be that perfect human creature that doesn’t have to feel this way? Have you ever thought to yourself… I know I can fix all their broken pieces and give them the live and light they deserve? I do! ALL THE TIME!
Ugh…. That moment when you are in denial that it’s not going to hurt that bad… And when it happens… It breaks your heart in to pieces.
There are some people you have to let go… There are some people that aren’t meant for you to hold… And it sucks big time. Heh
Iv’e accomplished so much this past week…. But I’m still sad I had to let go… Even if it was a silly day dream or a fairytale that I conjured up in my head. I still had to close the book and watch as they walked away.
No fairytale ending here. Just a harsh reality slapping me upside the head.
All I could do is cry…. That’s it.
Walked in , sat down…. ” I’m still in to you starts blaring over the speakers. I immediately want to throat punch someone. The guy next to us starts yelling at his nagging wife and starts getting violent. Of course … I shoot my mouth off to both of them …
I think it’s time to find a corner and meditate for a bit✌️
Our adventures continue….
(This is a copy of the letter I sent my students last night)
Balletto’s dancers… Thank you for a phenomenal week of rehearsals. I am so very proud of each and everyone of you. Now is the time to shut out the noise … Ignore or shut out any negative thoughts, behavior, or words of others … They don’t know your hard work, they don’t see you sweat… Their doubts are just selfish fears. This is YOUR time. YOU are ready. YOU have put the work in. YOU have trained all year for this moment. YOU know how strong you are and what YOU’RE capable of. YOU are amazing. I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! So let’s go out there and show them what you’re made of. 💖
You are ALL powerful, beautiful, brave, talented and unstoppable. The only validation you need is from YOU! Be proud of YOU and everything you’ve accomplished.
What’s been keeping me busy?
Right now… This BIG order that I need till in less than a week. Haha
What a great weekend full of dance shows… I’m exhausted!
I wish I could have slept in a bit today but instead I promised my son I would take him and his friend to Dave & Busters. Looks like I will be sitting here for awhile as they play games. Haha!
This weekend was such an incredible weekend but at the same time .. Extremely sad.
First the shooting of that poor girl with such a bright future ahead of her … Then last night the horrific shooting in Orlando. Seriously… It sickens me! Why are there such evil and hateful people in the world??
It was a weekend of celebrations and happy times … Yet this has definitely been in the back of my mind. It’s just so upsetting.
Is it possible for humans to stop fucking killing and hurting each other!?!?!
I’m so sick and tired of watching evil people try to destroy and hurt others. Will it ever stop?
Food for thought…
I have been in the dance world for 38 years, been teaching for 25 years, and been putting companies together for 23 years.
Sometimes i feel like I’ve heard it all and seen it all in this business. However…. I learn something new everyday. That’s what’s so friggin cool about this industry.
If you truly care about your child’s dance education ( I’m not talking about costumes, how many dances your in, how many solos you have, or what your class name is called )
I’m talking about training, developing style, finding their personality & character, getting a good work ethic, understanding commitment, consistency and responsibility, and learning how to evolve as a dancer as well as work with a group. Because THAT my friends is what a dancer needs to succeed and excel. If you truly care.. Let them train.
Like I said before…. I’ve been doing this for a pretty long time. I wouldn’t dream of walking into someone else’s work space without knowledge, understanding and experience at that job and tell someone how they should be doing it. I wouldn’t walk into someone’s home and tell them how to raise their child. Every situation is different and everyone has a way to their road of success.
The picture below is a long running issue in this business. No matter what year it is, where you teach … You always run into this. Everyone thinks their kid is a star. As you should! You should be their biggest positive supporter and their cheerleader. I think my kid is the bomb.com and a perfect angel! Haha!!!
But please…. Please ….let teachers and owners do the job that they are trained for.
We’ve spent a lot of time, blood , sweat and tears to get where we are today. Your child’s success is our success. That’s always our goal. It’s not about one child, or a small group of children. If that’s the case…. You need to run from that negative space. In a studio , in a company… There are many children and they are all magnificent in their own way and bring so much talent, life and joy to the table.
I know this is long. I don’t apologize.
It’s recital, nationals, and audition time. I just want to remind everyone … No matter where you dance or who your dancer is…They all are amazing and we as a community of teachers will be there to back them up every step of the way… Always.
I wish this wasn’t accurate .. But it is. I can’t even count on one hand the relationships I’ve had where guys have said …You are awesome, chill, supportive , fun , hard working, a great mom, loving BUT basically they had to cheat on me because I didn’t meet their standards on what they physically wanted. Which is fine …C’est la vie! I’ve never been the petite girl.. That’s for sure. Lol
That won’t change who I am.
If they are just looking for that… I wish them all the best. My question is… Why can men gain weight? Why can men grow their beards like a lumber jack that could house a birds nest inside? Why can men have receding hairline’s & go bald? Yet… I am criticized for cutting my hair in a style they don’t like or a color they aren’t fond of!Why can they be hard workers and in to their jobs? I’ve heard it , seen it and lived it…. When a man complains he’s working too hard and no one is helping him. Then you work more hours and now he “feels neglected”. Seriously? Make up your damn mind! Why is the standard so much higher for women than it is for men?
I know what you’re about to say. One or two men will respond to this post saying … That’s not true. I don’t judge anyone. I would want those qualities in a woman.
Fantastic! Congratulations on being a decent person. However that’s 1 or 2 of you that may say that out of the 8 that I’ve encountered through out my life who have dismissed me because they had someone who met ” their physical standards” waiting on the sidelines or hidden away for a rainy day. Haha
Not the greatest odds there.
Nothing beats you up more than to hear the words.. ” you are fantastic… Everything I’ve needed and wanted… But if you lost weight… You’d be perfect”
Like I said .. Best of luck to them on finding and keeping their ” perfection”…. I hope that makes them happy and brings their life joy.
I hope no one treats their sons/daughters that way. Hopefully… They will teach their children that other traits like… Being kind, selfless, honest, patient, generous, loving, understanding, having & showing integrity, and being a hard worker… Out weighs everything else.
Sorry …. Little rant. This article just hit a little too close to home. I’m not saying everyone is like this. I am saying… Boy it sure feels like they are. Haha!