It’s been a very long weekend. My dancers had dance competition all weekend again. Over 30 hours of dance. It’s a lot.
Now it’s Presidents’ Day and I sort of .. have the day off. I got to sleep in this morning .. no 5:30am alarm. Woohoo! It’s 11am and all I have accomplished was making breakfast , drinking coffee , and doing the dishes.
I soooo need motivation this morning! I have to pack. We are suppose to move out soon. I haven’t heard back from Artspace. I am incredibly sad. Hoping they are just running behind schedule. I will be devastated if i don’t get in.
I’m still waiting … holding my breath. So many prayers and anxiety over this. I just want this so badly.
I had other things to talk about today but I’m exhausted and I’m fixated on hearing back from Artspace at the moment.
Hope your Monday is great!
why? Because snap chat is funny.
I heard through the grapevine that we’ll will start hearing back this week on Artspace. I hope my application is accepted and I get to the interview portion. I know I can give a great presentation in front of the board. I JUST need to make it through the application/review process. I’m a nervous wreck. I’ve never wanted something so badly before. I broke down and cried today (numerous times ) because I’m just a ball of nerves. I need this. My son needs this. I’ve had a lifetime of hard roads, disappointments, rejections, and being treated like I wasn’t good enough… this is THE time .. right now .. that I need a win.. a yes… someone to say ” I believe in you”. If I can get in to Artspace .. it will just set me on that path. I will be hoping & praying that I make it. Please God .. help me make it. I want it so badly.
Two weeks ago I started another job… yes another one.
I’m currently driving for Uber Eats for the East Valley. Does it pay well… no. Haha.
Here’s me getting ready for a day of driving.
( yes my pink hair has faded… it will be back this weekend)
What I’ve learned is …People do not tip. I get it when a young kid orders something after school but I’ve delivered to a plastic surgeons office & they haven’t tipped. I mean …give me a break. You put your money in for gas, & you are driving your car extra miles. So… I’m sure you’re asking… why the hell are you doing it then?? Honestly… I like driving. I like people. I get to find new restaurants & cafes that I didn’t even know existed. Good tunes & a good drive. The small cash I do make is great for gas , grocery or Starbucks money.
The extra cash helps with paying off my doctor bills that I’m about to get slammed with from my hospital visit this month and it helps me get ready for all the moving I’m doing this year. I’m applying for Mesa Artspace. They aren’t built yet but will be completed this summer and I’ve already started the process of getting in. I did the class, I do the registration in about a week, then I will go through the application process, and then the final interview in front of the board. I’ve been prepping for this moment for three years. I’m so ready for it.
( my new home this summer… send good vibes that I get in!! I can’t wait! )
I will document my journey and the process getting in to Artspace. So be prepared for blogs & snaps. You can follow my snaps at Hizzy5678.
Time to get to my daily duties & prepping for my Uber drives today. Hope you all have an awesome day. Take care, Be kind to yourself, and pay it forward today 😊💖
These past few weeks.. I feel like I’ve been side swiped and kicked from every direction. I am thankful for those who have been there for me and those that spoke such beautiful, inspiring, and kind words as well as given me their time, understanding , generosity , and their hugs that truly meant the world to me.
Thank you. You ladies know who you are. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Through all of these challenges put in front of me… I trust God and his path for me despite who or what stands in the way. I fully trust him to help guide me as I work hard and fight for myself and my worth to the path that he wishes for me to go down. Up until last summer … I had lost my faith. I had thought I was a forgotten soul since I was a child .. someone that wasn’t worthy. I had witness fake , dishonest , & untrustworthy examples of faith. Not really knowing what exactly it was or is that I was suppose to be feeling. Last summer that all changed when I was touched and given a reminder and from that moment.. it has changed my life forever. The way I view situations, people, events… the way I receive things … and who I let in to my life. This year has started off with so many lessons and obstacles … it’s hard to take it all in. However, I think to myself… he must have such a bigger plan for me. All these lessons… what am I preparing for? I’m not sure.. but I do know I trust him. I will work hard for my dreams .. my path. I also know that I will fight hard for others. Truth means everything to me. Equal and balance. ( I am a libra haha) I also know beside me are some incredible people that have been placed in my path to learn from, to grow from, to love, and to support. Even through all these trials and tribulations… I am so grateful, humbled, and I appreciate everything & everyone that is in front of me.
I pray for those that need to find their path, their faith, their humility ..or truly themselves.
I pray that you find the peace and happiness you seek. I hope you have a wonderful week. Be kind to others but most of all.. be kind to yourself.
Much love. ❤️
The end of 2017 & the start of 2018 has been… life changing.
I can honestly say I’m a completely different person than I was a year ago. I’m not 100% if that is a good or bad thing yet. I just know that how I see the world , how I interact with the world, how I view people, how I view myself, what I think of life, love, work, play… all different.
When you spend three days in a hospital thinking you may not leave or my thought was I’m going to bleed out & die and no one will know where I am. It changes you.
I laid in the hospital bed so damn determined that I was going to walk out of there.. and I did.
I’m not really ready to talk about the week from hell. I may never be able to talk about it. However, I’m ready to put it behind me and change … everything .
I’m definitely going against the current at the moment. Dyed my hair pink. Trying to get in to Artspace ( fingers crossed that I get in), and getting ready to step away from competition dance.. a world I’ve lived in for 38 years. I have no desire for any love relationships or interaction. No interest at all. I’m only interested in getting in to Artspace , continuing my artistic endeavors, finding myself, loving, forgiving , supporting , and enjoying the people around me. The most important thing is that I’ve found God… he made his presence known.. and I listened. That relationship and trust is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It felt like the big hug my heart was yearning for. Words can not describe how it feels to finally feel …I am not forgotten or abandoned.
Going forward I plan on sharing more as I go on this journey. I will definitely talk more about my road to Artspace. Will I dye my hair lavender or stay with pink? Who knows? Haha Right now …I’m going where the wind takes me.
I’ve been MIA for a bit. Sorting through life, having life changes experiences, living through a hellish nightmare, conquering fears, and chasing down dreams. I wish I was kidding… I am not.
My life has been forever changed. The path I’m on is so incredibly different than anything I’ve ever been on before. It’s exciting yet completely terrifying at the same time.
Three days in the hospital really was a wake up call… it’s time to make some radical changes in my life.
So where does my adventure begin?
Well.. currently I’m taking a risk , leaving my safety zone and venturing out. My first big leap… I’m applying for Artspace in Downtown Mesa. I think living in a space with other artists will not only inspire me but make me feel I’m with my tribe. I’m in the early stages of this process and if I make it through everything to the final interview process in front of the artspace council… I’ll be very happy.
If I get in.. it means I will be moving 2 times in about 5-6 months. That is pretty tough but… in the end I feel it’s worth it.
So that’s the first step in my quest. There is more. But… I think I will stop here.
I am in a totally different headspace now than I was two weeks ago. On a different path.. we’ll see how it goes.
Much love & blessings to you today💖
One of the down falls of my job is that when the school shuts down… sondoes my work. Struggling check to check is so stressful. But … to have a week .. sometimes more… with out pay is just a cluster fuck.
I’ve been stressing about this week for the past three weeks. Now that it’s here, I’m realizing ….. yes! This is going to be tough. However, I get some fantastic quality time with my kiddo. I’m usually rushing off to work as he’s getting home from school. Sometimes during the week… i may only really talk to him a total of an hour/ hour and a half that day. It’s been fantastic to be able to have this time. My kid is so funny. When we hang out … I laugh for hours.
I feel very fortunate to be able to have this time with him before I head back in to work and he goes back to school. Trying to keep stress on the back burner and not think about the out come at the end of the month. Instead… I will just take each day for what it is. An opportunity to have some quality time and feel grateful.
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Have a beautiful weekend everyone ✌️️💖
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